FAVORITE THINGS

MARTHA'S WAY AND MY WAY

Martha´s way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete´s
sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it
anyway.

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Martha´s way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
with the potatoes.

My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up
to a year.

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Martha´s way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of the dry cake mix instead --- and there won´t be any white mess on the
outside of the cake.

My way: Go to the bakery. They´ll even decorate it for you.

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Martha´s way #4: If you accidentally over-salt a dish, while it´s still
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix me up".

My way: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that´s too damn bad.
My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don´t care how bad it tastes.

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Martha´s way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.

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Martha´s way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.

My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
whites over the crust and so I don´t do it.

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Martha´s way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it
on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can´t rub a
lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the
problem isn´t the headache anymore, because you are now BLIND!

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Martha´s way #8: Don´t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice
cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

My way: Leftover wine? When the hell does THAT happen? Now that´s hilarious!

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Martha´s way #9: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

My way: Go ask the neighbor with the cute butt to do it.

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Martha´s way #10: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just
slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse.

My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti-bacterial soap in the
handy dispenser next to my sink