Thursday, July 29, 2010
A jubilant Goosey Fernandes, owner of Panjo, the hand-reared tiger who was found on Wednesday night after going walkabout for two days, celebrated by opening a bottle of whiskey for himself, and a bottle of milk for his beloved animal.
"When I called out to him, he came straight towards me, put his head on my shoulder and purred," Fernandes told the South African Press Association over the phone.
"And he carried on purring all the way back; this is how I communicate with him, we understand each other ... Everyone is now having a whiskey at home, we are ecstatic and relieved."
Panjo was found in the bushes near Verena, Mpumalanga, at about 8pm.
A frantic search began for the majestic animal after he jumped out of his owners' bakkie in Delmas on Monday evening.
"He was frightened, terrified. I lured him with a piece of rump steak ... but he knew me already," Fernandes said before calling out Panjo's name.
*sigh* Good :)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
MARTHA'S WAY AND MY WAY
Martha´s way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete´s
sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it
Martha´s way #2: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
with the potatoes.
My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up
to a year.
Martha´s way #3: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a
bit of the dry cake mix instead --- and there won´t be any white mess on the
outside of the cake.
My way: Go to the bakery. They´ll even decorate it for you.
Martha´s way #4: If you accidentally over-salt a dish, while it´s still
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix me up".
My way: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that´s too damn bad.
My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don´t care how bad it tastes.
Martha´s way #5: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha´s way #6: Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to
yield a beautiful glossy finish.
My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg
whites over the crust and so I don´t do it.
Martha´s way #7: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it
on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can´t rub a
lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the
problem isn´t the headache anymore, because you are now BLIND!
Martha´s way #8: Don´t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice
cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
My way: Leftover wine? When the hell does THAT happen? Now that´s hilarious!
Martha´s way #9: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
My way: Go ask the neighbor with the cute butt to do it.
Martha´s way #10: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just
slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse.
My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti-bacterial soap in the
handy dispenser next to my sink
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal.
Listen, whatever it is you try
to do with your life, nothing will ever dazzle you
like the dreams of your body,
longing to fly while the dead-weight bones
toss their dark mane and hurry
back into the fields of glittering fire
even the great whale,
throbs with song.
- Mary Oliver